Buhtt sex?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
