meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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