he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
