I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
