some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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