My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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