he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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