Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
