On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
