Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
