you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
