I want to walk on stilts...naked
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
