My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
