We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
