i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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