Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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