awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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