He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
