Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
