Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
