oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
