If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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