whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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