Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize