i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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