where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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