Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He? As in you personified your dick?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize
