Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
