i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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