So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
They have beer where we have blood.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
