I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize