..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
