I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
