I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
