My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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