You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize