Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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