so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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