I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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