Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
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