I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
