You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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