After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
