One girl and one boy is just not enough.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
