hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
