just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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