So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
