I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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