where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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