We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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