remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
