My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
