last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
