May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
