Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize