i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize