i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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