Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
She announced her abortion via fbk
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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