cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
