hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize