isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
