Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
